Hey concert-goer with the cellphone: stop being a major jerk


You are at THE CONCERT. 

It features one of your favorite acts.

He, she or they put on a fantastic show and, like EVERYONE else at the venue, you can barely contain the excitement of seeing the sparkly jewel(s) of stardom before your very own eyes in the pulsating flesh.

You whip out your cellphone, lift it higher than eye level and record that first song.

Then the second, then the third, then the forth…. dagnabbit, you jerk.

Are you going to record the entire show? 

We were behind two enthusiastic “cellphone videographers” like that at Tuesday night’s Dolly Parton show at the Ohio State Fair.

shutterstock_325693127Glad they enjoyed the first part of the show before mysteriously (and thankfully) disappearing for the second half.

Try as we did, we could not reach concert-going nirvana because they were so damn annoying.

Cellphones and their menacing glares obstructed our view most of the time.

Add to that the fact that the people in front of us blabbed the whole time, climbed over seats and were generally a..#@$@s.

The cellphone thing was the major problem, though.

Nearly everyone these days grabs a few photos or videos during a concert.

That’s natural.

That’s expected.

What is not natural is when someone totally disregards the impact their actions have on the people around them.

So to the people in front of us, you were not the only ones excited to hear Dolly sing “Jolene” and talk about her boobs.

You missed it (thankfully), but we all went crazy when she sang “9 to 5,”  “I Will Always Love You,” and other hits.

We love Dolly, too.

She’s the star on the stage.

Proof that Dolly Parton is made of stars. Photo by Amelia Robinson

Proof that Dolly Parton is made of stars. Photo by Amelia Robinson

If you were her only fan, she wouldn’t have been the sparkling solar system bedazzled in blinding bling.

No one was there to see your stupid iPhone screen or how it DIDN’T ACTUALLY capture Dolly’s image, as she is either a magical fairy who can not be photographed by a human camera or was in so many sequins that it reflected happiness under the spotlights that blurred her out.

So, here are three takeaways:

  1. Don’t record the entire concert with your cellphone. What is the point? Are you REALLY going to watch some shaky, blurry concert video later? Your friends will believe you where there. Just tell them.
  2. Remember that there are other people there. You need to conform and obey. Is everyone else standing for every song? Is everyone else talking non-stop? It means something that you are among the few jerks recording every single moment of the show. It means you are a jerk recording every single moment of the show.
  3. When all fails, ask WWDD — “What would Dolly do?” Dolly would listen to the grumblings of the people around her and put her cellphone away. Heck, being a fairy, Dolly doesn’t even need a cellphone.Shutterstock


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